Barriers to Communication - Microfiction

1/14/2015

“Stop that,” I roared. I heard another door slam.

“You’re acting like a child,” I yelled down the hallway. Plates rattled.

I finished my makeup and headed for the noises. “Get it togeth-“

The kitchen was empty.

“David?”

The room went dark.

15 Comments

theinnerzone link

1/14/2015 05:36:31 am

This is really good, Laura.

Laura

1/15/2015 01:19:12 am

Thank you! :-)

Kathy Combs link

1/14/2015 07:00:11 am

That is kind of scary...silence and an empty kitchen wouldn't be a good sign in my opinion!

Laura

1/15/2015 01:20:51 am

There's something about an empty kitchen that is always a little spooky...

Cyn K link

1/14/2015 10:41:10 am

I'm cringing at what might be happening in the dark.

Laura

1/15/2015 01:20:15 am

With a story this length, it's almost more suggestion than statement - so I'm happy I managed to get a scare going!

Cyn K link

1/16/2015 01:47:10 am

Congratulations on your selection as a staff pick!

Jacqueline Casey link

1/15/2015 01:45:18 am

Well done. It's easy to "hear" the pauses.

Laura

1/15/2015 07:30:14 am

Thanks!

Stacie link

1/15/2015 07:16:45 am

I love your shades of Hitchcock, Laura. It's scarier than actually seeing what happens.

Laura

1/15/2015 07:30:41 am

I LOVE Hitchcock so I will take this as high praise! Thanks very much!

Stacie link

1/15/2015 07:37:36 am

Me too! My husband was just at a conference in SF and he stayed at the Vertigo Hotel. He send me a photo of the staircase. So cool!

Nate link

1/18/2015 07:52:14 am

I failed to comment the first few times I read this. I'm amazed at how much you packed in here, Laura, without resorting to exposition. We have a clear picture of the situation and the immediate feelings present. Your tone is spot on.

Is it alright if I write more about this in my espresso shot article over in the coffeehouse?

Laura

1/18/2015 08:40:16 am

Nate: Absolutely! I'd love to hear any additional comments. Thanks very much!

Nate link

1/18/2015 09:29:46 am

It's up and it's all love! Here's a link: http://yeahwrite.me/coffeehouse/

You need a google email account for google groups.

Barriers to Communication - Microfiction

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